Monsoon Manor 01
“Hex, I’ve never known you to be this excited, so do you really think that you found something here inside of my aunt’s old property?”
“First things first, Chase. I mean, my Treasure Hunting outfit and all, so?”
“Well, Hex, I don’t think an authentic Treasure Hunter wears clothing that highlights what is worth highlighting so well, but given our weird relationship, I mean, well, it’s so you, Hex, so.”
“And the Jenna, as a representative of the crew then, hmm?”
“Hex, I was with you when you went all treasure hunter and I even hexed a new outfit out of you for myself, so let’s get on with this or you know, let’s about this weird relationship between you and Chase then, shall we? Actually, let’s start with why you wanted me to wear a leotard with this Denim mini? Not that I’m complaining, so.”
Hey there, fellow Treasure Hunters. I’m Hex and I am not a treasure hunter, but I recently went along with the crew, LOL, basically the only crew who would accept me for who I am and joined them on a final walk through of the old Monsoon Manor mansion, which belonged to Chase’s aunt, with Chase being my weird relationship partner.
So, here’s what happened, sort of. I’m still not sure how I feel about things, but I went with the Chase’s flow and the flow had Chase and myself in many positions and in many places and there was plenty of rolling around and at one point, while I was on my back, I thought I spied something interesting as I looked up towards the wall and ceiling, but I couldn’t concentrate on it much because I was pretty much in a “protect it or lose it” sexual situation. Or keep rolling around and kissing for short.
Not that I’m against “losing it” with Chase, but that first time, right? I mean, until some treasure hunter digs up your treasure for the first time, right? I mean, the human brain, am I right?
Anyways, I knew I spied something interesting and I knew that Chase’s aunt was losing a tug of war over back property taxes of the abandoned old mansion, so I did what I had to do. Which was to first get a new Treasure Hunter outfit and then to convince Mrs. Bentley that I may hold the key to her biggest fund raiser auction ever! Oh, and convincing Jenna to wear a leotard with a Denim mini wasn’t all that hard, so.
And where Mrs. Bentley goes, so does everyone else, although in this case, it also included Middleton’s Property Tax Manager, Mr. Gregory, or butthole for short.
And where we all went was to the Great Room of the Monsoon Manor mansion that was currently in foreclosure.
“Mrs. Bentley, from what I can see, everyone is here, so is your resident expert ready then?”
“Oh, my resident expert, Mrs. Maria Munoz is ready, funny boy! Is your, um, goth gymnast ready then, Hex? And I used to have legs like that back in my day, so.”
“Sure, I mean, just as soon as Jenna finishes yet another re-coating of her black lip gloss, so.”
“Huh? What? Oops. Hey, I’m limber and I’m ready, unlike a few women in this place tonight, so.”
“Alright then, hello everyone, as most of you, I’m Mrs. Bentley and if it weren’t for the luck of the draw, I could be your momma because I enjoyed an active youth. Anyways, little fem boy Hex, who has yet to have defne escort any type of an active youth and who had better get with it, has brought us all tonight in his whip ass Treasure Hunting outfit, to reveal just how the beloved Mrs. St. Saint does not have to lose this old mansion over property tax issues and my resident expert is here to verify that and the lovely Jenna will reveal the secret once and for all, although as I understands things, the focus of the lovely Jenna should not be her hand stand in a skirt capabilities, but what her goth highlighted eyes reveal. Or men, keep it in pants for short. Back to you, Hex.”
“Anyways, folks, without any further ado, um, Jenna, would you please make a hand stand on the side table and hold it for as long as you can and tell the group what you see when you look up at the wood work that surrounds the fire place and concentrate your sight just above the center line between the top of the fireplace and the upper trim, please. Also, as a public statement, I hereby claim my fair share of the findings as my finder fees! Heard, Attorney Lawrence?”
“Huh? What? Yes, Jenna, heard, I mean, Legs, heard, I mean Hex! Hex! Heard, Hex!”
“So, tell us, Jenna, let your perfectly shaped lips say what your black lined eyes see then! Say it.”
“OMG! Hex, you little Treasure Hunting SOB!”
“Well, I mean, the outfit too, Jenna, but tease the gathered crowd who wants to foreclose on Chase’s aunt’s abandoned mansion property! Speak Jenna.”
“It’s the four things, Hex, the four things. Earth, Water, Wind and Fire, I see the four things from being upside down, Hex.”
“Ahh, indeed you do, Jenna, but what else is unique about what you see regarding the four things then, Jenna? Also, you all heard me claim my finder’s fee, so.”
“Oh, um, I don’t know the wood working terminology, but the words don’t seem to be simply carved into the wood sections, OMG, OMFG, Hex, this is better when you thought tan undies were your color!”
“Ahh, tell it, Jenna, satisfy those who would snatch this place from under Mrs. St. Saint’s feet then! Also, Mr. Hancock would like you to make a bigger spread eagle with your feet then, but that’s up to you.”
Yea, LOL, you could see the veins in Mrs. Bentley’s Temples!
“OMFG, speak, child, speak! I mean, tell us what you see, Jenna? And it’s not only Mr. Hancock who is a big fan of your current hand stand, so. Anyways, say it, Jenna, say it! I have a new fund raiser evening gown that is cut so low that I need Hollywood body tape to wear it!”
“SOB, um, seeing how I’m the only one who can see it right now, um, Mrs. Bentley, Mrs. St. Saint, I’ll be needing a new leather jacket and a new pair of boots and by the way, who thinks I need help holding a hand stand then?”
[Smack]
“That was just old man Lester, the tax collector’s assistant, but we’re good now Jenna, so tell me what we have found that I can auction off then? I’m crying, Miss Jenna, I’m crying!”
“They are not just words carved into a section of wood, Mrs. Bentley and Hex, they are, um, books, books on their sides, OMG, OMFG, they are boxes! They should pull right out of the wood working wall then!”
“Thank you, Jenna. Now, before demetevler escort you flip back down, please, focus your upside eye sight just above the center of the fireplace, but closer to the fireplace then the fireplace. Find just one more secret word, Jenna.”
“Um, ubique? Is that like “do it in an Uber” then?”
Well, not everyone understands Latin, so.
“Chase, would you please step up the ladder that I had you drag along with us and set it up in front of the spot that Jenna points to. Jenna, point out water, the color of blue and Mrs. St. Saint, your nephew Chase and I have a weird history, so don’t pay attention to how he helps me up the ladder.”
“Child, if you bring down a blue box full of money, well, Chase, just behave yourself! (I used to have an ass like that to, you know, Mrs. Bentley!)”
“(All of Middleton knew that, slut, I mean, Mrs. St. Saint. And stop looking at Hex’s little bulge! Even your nephew only gazes at and pats his backsides, so.)”
Well, first of all, old mansions are huge and it was a lot further up then I thought it was as we made our way up the ladder, but we made it and there it was, a little slide box that said “water” upside down and the word “water” molded and weaved itself right in with all of the hand carvings of the mantel.
Also, wow, the guy or crew who hand carved all of this back in the day, right?
[Wiggle, shuffle, wiggle, pull, slide, slide, wiggle, oh, oh, oh, slightly open and tilt the secret box]
“Jenna, can you see this?”
“I will never judge you again, Hex! Is it real? Also, Chase, oh boy, you’re getting it so hard tonight! I mean, oops, Auntie Mrs. St. Saint.”
“Ahh, Miss Maria Munoz, Resident Expert, get ready to get with it. Help me down the ladder, Chase.”
“(Well, am I getting it so hard tonight, Hex?)”
“(Hush, Chase, but the odds are definitely in your favor.)”
Oh, don’t get too excited about all that “getting it hard” stuff, although that would seem to be the next step in our weird relationship, which, as Chase has said many times, isn’t gay, so.
“Well, Maria, what’s the verdict with the secret blue box? Am I holding the auction of my life or what?”
Oh, Mrs. Maria Munoz was hot with her eye piece thingy. Like, that should be a fashion statement or something.
“Well, first of all, Mr. Property Tax Collector, you can probably fuck off and die. And then, Mrs. St. Saint, you should consider locking this place down with security, like pronto! And Mrs. Bentley, you seem to pretty much still have it, so just forget the Hollywood body tape and hold the auction of your life then.”
“Well, tell it, Mrs. Munoz! And be quick because my nephew’s special little friend is really starting to shake and convulse and I’m trying really hard to believe it’s from his treasure findings and not from the way that my nephew is gripping him! Which, I might say, is the same way that men used to grip me, so.”
“(Well, there was always plenty to grip), but go ahead, Maria, and start with how the city manager can also fuck and die because he supported the foreclosure on our beloved Monsoon Manor mansion, so.”
“Well, if we properly interpret the lovely Jenna’s “do it in an demirözü escort Uber” as Latin for these secret little boxes might be hidden everywhere in this old mansion, I mean, Mrs. St. Saint, how would you feel about joining the our little funny boy Hex on his continued treasure hunt while wearing a long blue diamond necklace then, hmm?”
[Holds up a very blue and sparkly diamond necklace for all to see]
I mean, that was almost the end of the story, but I had the fore sight to bring along Smelling Salts, so.
“Jenna! It’s not coke! Just wave the bottle under their noses!”
“Oops. Look, I got this, I mean, wow, what a heap of middle-aged flesh on the floor, but go, you and Chase deserve a moment, so make it count, Hex.”
“But what about the resident expert, Maria? She didn’t pass out?”
“You mean the woman who is helping me hold the smelling salts bottle, except she’s holding my boobs instead? That Mrs. Maria Munoz? Anyways, go give it or get it hard. I mean, I really don’t know which way you two go, so.”
Oh, so now things are defined then? Someone should put that in a book or something! Which I figured was me giving it hard to Chase, but it still wasn’t clear, but I was about to find out, apparently. But not until I pointed out to Jenna which City Counsel members owed her cash for her amazing upside-down spread eagle hand stand.
“This guy owes you at least $200 and this old geezer owes you whatever he has in his pockets, Jenna.”
[Ruffles a huge wad of cash from her old jacket]
“LOL, I owe you, Hex! Now, go have sex, Hex.”
Still, that wasn’t much of a clue of who gets it hard and who gives it hard, but funny alone times with Chase were tough to come by, so away I went.
“I mean, Chase, you know there is no way that I’m peeling my Treasure Hunting outfit off, right?”
“And you two can give it and take it hard later! Hex, wiggle and wag your little tail back up that ladder to the next secret box and Chase, well, your aunt is under the weather with this wonderful news, so you can manhandle that little melon all you want up and down the ladder. Also, Hex, I mean, you have him out, so give it a hard kiss and then let’s get with it!”
I mean, at least I had direction this time. And a little help. Like her hand help.
“OMG, my mouth used to create that much suction on a hard cock back in my day, Hex.”
[Push, pull, push, pull, push, pull]
“Oh, oh, I’ll take his load if you haven’t taken much hidden treasure yet, Hex. You know what all that grunting and throbbing means, right?”
[Throb, grunt, slurp, gulp, ugh, push, pull, push, pull, grunt]
“Switch off, Treasure Hunter!”
See, folks? It was like reading from a book! Well, except for when I tried to reverse role play.
“I mean, Chase, um, Mrs. Bentley is used to this sort of thing, so, I mean, we will still have a weird relationship, so.”
I mean, LOL, sexy pillow talk, right? But it worked. Or he never heard a word for short and ended up as happy as could be, so.
Anyways, in the “Fire” box, we found small Rubies, but a lot of them and in the “Earth” box we found gold Morgan’s, which almost gave Councilman Jones a heart attack and in the “Wind” box, well, it was full of cash, but really, really, old bills, so TBD on that, I guess. Oh, and Jenna and Mrs. Munoz quickly took over the room by room hunting for the other “do it in an Uber” secret boxes that may be hidden everywhere throughout the old mansion. And then I think they did it in an Uber, so.
End Monsoon Manor 01
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